clap(!)

The Thunderclap! lady issue is here, and you can maybe find me in it if you look through an hourglass.

wednesday again but actually the same

Sometimes I think I'd like to be one of those people who make sloppy / ugly / mostly unshowered look endearing. This will not actually happen because I would not like that at all.

Yesterday I went swimming and I found a contact in my swimming pool. It was stuck between my toes and it felt like a jellyfish. I touched my eyes to make sure I could still see. I don't know where or when that contact came from: it wasn't mine, and I can't remember ever losing one in the pool. Or anywhere, for that matter, except in my own eye. Once I lost a contact in my eye at Jmom's house and it came out again the next day after I had already replaced it with another contact. I was unintentionally wearing two contacts in the same eye and it reminded me of the time when I was 14 and a girl, Rebecca Lane, showed me how to pop someone's eye out. She learned it in karate, and I'm still pretty sure that it's true. I was unintentionally wearing two contacts in the same eye and I started to cry because I kept imagining eyeballs coming out everywhere and both contacts came out of their own accord.

This may not have happened, but it seems like it did. Milta says it has something to do with the moon.

wednesday

I've been spending my night hours drinking hot tea and smoking cigarettes by the pack. I'm pretending to be a person who writes things other than myself.

Here Kat, rub the sin out of your feet with this PedEgg.

I walked the twelve miles to the parking deck and up the thirty flights of stairs to my car. A rubbed-red car filled with exactly the kind of hipster assholes I usually avoid came whipping around a corner as I was fumbling with the keys in my pocket. As a reinforcement of their assholeishness, they threw a handful of poppers at me as they passed. Yes, those things that break into small fireworks at the mention of pavement (and, when released in the echoing concrete of a parking deck, successfully recreate the experience of the London air raids). That's the kind of week I've been having. Actually.

on halves

In honor of my half birthday, a list of the cool people who are also having a half birthday today (or would be, if they weren't dead):

Dr. Seuss
Mikhail Gorbachev
Lou Reed
Tom Wolfe
Jon Bon Jovi
Karen Carpenter
Edgar Bowers
Sam Houston
John Irving
several popes
Kurt Weill
Sholem Aleichem
David Greenglass (the spy who leaked the atomic secrets)
several leaders of foreign countries
one Osmond
Edward Condon (the guy who thought up quantum mechanics)
Chris Martin
several congressmen from midwestern states
& two of my lovely professors, Debra Taylor Bourdeau & Karen Graf


See you peeps again in March.